SMALL TOWN NEWS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I was walking down old Main Street in Hometown, USA, When I ran into this fella who seemed to have too much to say. He said, "EXTRA! EXTRA! HEAR ALL ABOUT... 'you know who'! You can add your own dirt to it, But here's the rumors from your local Small Town News." I said, "If ignorance were painful, instead of bliss, You'd be hooked up at Intensive Care to a steady morphine drip." He flashed me his most evil eye, out from behind his baby blues. He said, "That mouth just bought you coverage In the next edition of the Small Town News." Much ado about anything is the password of the day. It seems the smallest of the smallest always have the most to say. And you know they must say something, don't really matter if it's true. It's all those small town minds reporting all their Small Town News. Dirty linen on a windy morning, of who's doing what to whom, Hung out on the phone line, will be on the street by noon. But they must add the disclaimer, "This is just between me and you." Then stand back and let the presses roll Another issue of the Small Town News. You've probably heard the story about, "a mother with two sons". The gossip grapevine poured it on, adding kids one by one. By the time the story came to print, it even had 'em all living in a shoe! And that's the Rest of the Story On the ways and means of Small Town News. Now if you find this song is hitting you a little close to home, I do not mean to criticize as you're probably not alone. If you feel you want to change things, it'll only happen when you choose To cancel your subscription To the narrow-minded, low-down Small Town News. It's time to disrupt circulation And watch those busy-body, small minds fuse. When we shut down publication Of the down-and-dirty, low-down Small Town News. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © 1995 Jim Hinde folkbone@mindspring.com