West Texas Waltz (Butch Hancock) When you're ready for steady to go dancin', romancin' Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car Drive right on down to the bright lights of town You'll be glad you don't have to drive far You'll be happy you don't have to go far Park your pickups and Caddilacs, Fords and Renaults Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz My pickup needs a tune-up, I better get up and make up My mind to get on it today The tractor's been actin' up and the sewer lines are backin' up But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway I'll go dancin' tonight anyway Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults I like to dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz Grandmammy, grandpappy if you plan to stay happy You better lace up your best dancin shoes Come see us, don't write us, you can stop your arthritis Just by dancin' away your blues Dancin' away your blues So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz I took my baby after dark to the old baseball park And we sat in the center field stands I asked her, "How many outs?" She said, "I've got my doubts, but you can count 'em on one of your hands." I said, "Baby, I've got much better plans." "I'll kiss you on the strikes, you kiss me on the balls, and we'll go dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz!" I met a fine lady banker and I'd sure like to thank her For the credit she gave me made me shout She changed my whole attitude and to show her a little gratitude I decided I'd just ask her out. Yes I thought I just might ask her out I said close up your windows, honey, lock up your vaults Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz We spent the next to the last dollar at the old ice cream parlor On a milkshake and a malt and a pop Then we heard us some sounds, there was a honky tonk lounge Next door to the ice cream shop Next door to the ice cream shop Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts And one is dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz And the other is somethin', but really it's nothin' To speak of it's somethin' to do If you've done it before, you'll be doin' it some more Just as soon as the dancin' is through Right after the dancin' is through And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because You been dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz.